An expert from Beth Moore

Got this email from a dear friend this past weekend.

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This evening I just sat down to read the end of day 4…It was on the story of Raising Lazarus from the dead John 11…In this story alone there are several truths about peace
1.Christ purposely timed His absence from Lazarus during his critical illness. Consistently throughout God’s word, illness and infermity arise as opportunities for God’s work. Check out John 9:1-3. Why was the man born blind?
2.Christ had glory in mind when He tarried so long before responding to Mary and Martha, too. Christ waited 4 days before He returned…long enough to accomplish at least 2 goals
A.)a prevalent belief existed at that time that the spirit remained close to the body for 3 days after death. By waiting past that point, Jesus left them void of other explanations
B.)He waited until a crowd gathered at Mary’s home so that many would “put their faith in him.” Christ was peaceful in the wait. He waited thousands of years to become flesh and dwell among us. He waited 30 years to begin his ministry. He waited until Lazarus was cold and decaying before He raised Him from the dead. And we must learn to wait as He does. What profit is there in the wait…God actos on behalf of those who wait on him (Isa.64:4)
3. Christ experienced peace in the midst of tears. Why did Christ Jesus Cry? Because He saw the tears of His loved ones (vs.33-35). He “demonstrated His own love” with tears of anguish, yet all the while His peace remained. Please understand this vital point of peace: peace means the absence of fear and turmoil, not the absence of pain and grief. It greatly concerns me when I fail to see those who have lost loved ones shed tears in the name of “peace” Christ, Himself grieved over the separation of loved ones as shown here in John 11, in the garden of Gestnemane, and finally on the cross as He saw his mother’s pain and suffered the separation from His Heavenly Father. We can be filled with sadness and still possess a wonderful sense of God’s peace. Perhaps it is at that moment beyond all others when the peace of God transcends all understanding. God is not a proponent of emotional annihilation. But He gives us specific instructions about our emotions. “Trust in God at all times, O people; pout out your heart to him, for God is our refuge.” Psalm 62:8.
4. Our Goal is not the absence of sorrow in our grieving, but rather that we refuse to grieve “as one who has no hope” (1 Thess. 4:13). Perhaps right now you are walking through a time when the obvious actions of Christ in your behalf seem inconsistent with His professed love for you. Oh, Beloved, can you see today that it is quite consistent with our Savior:
-Go for the greater glory?
-Have us be void of all other explanation?
-wait until many surround us who may put their faith in Him?

CHRIST HAD PERFECT PEACE IN THE TEARS

Homeschool

Josiah is learning number and letter recognition.  Love that little rascal.

the “joy” saga continues (sorry if you’re bored)

Hilarious.

Yeah.  IT was hilarious.  In a super sarcastic not hilarious way.

The last 7 days have been such a test of my recent JOY SHOUT OUT that the temptation has been to completely “scrap it” altogether. Yesterday at lunch we watched as the little teenage prisoner got into the police car with her 20 hour old baby to go back to the jail cell that she had come from the day before.  With WITH her 20 hour old baby.  In a jail cell.

A mother of 9, 2 of whom are not hers, needs help.  Her body is ravaged with cancer.  Maybe in her early 30′s.  She wanted her tubes tied so the doctors gave her the surgery.  The pregnancy test she took before the surgery showed a negative result.  Turns out that she was a week or two pregnant at the time of the surgery.   Needs me to pay for her to go to Port au Prince to see the cancer doctor and get treatment.  She needed thousands of dollars.  I love her.  I don’t have that kind of money.

Janeil and I watched a feeble broken woman in church on Sunday dig through her clothing until she found a coin to put in the offering plate.  The plate had made its way to the row behind her before she was able to pull it out.  When the people stood to sing, she danced around in circles and through her arms up in the air in praise.  Precious in the eyes of the Lord.  No doubt about it.  She saw me this afternoon walking across the campus to my house.  She ran.  I felt the urge to weep as I watched her sweet body do what it shouldn’t be able to do.  Yelling along the way MAJEE MAJEE MAJEE. (the name she calls me – it is short for Madam Janeil)  I brought her into my house and sat her down.  Hoping that she wouldn’t ask me for the same thing that she asks me for everyday.  ”Un ti cote.”  She said.  One little place for my daughter to live.  She travels house to house and sleeps on rocks.  The reality of life in Haiti and knowing when helping hurts.  I cannot buy a  house for her daughter who does not have the capacity to care for herself.  I tell her everyday.  She knows I will say no.  She still asks.  It is painful in ways that are indescribable.

I have a friend whom I love with all of my heart.  She has been a soul connection during times that I wasn’t sure if I would breathe my next breath.  (not literally, of course)   She has given me life and love and true friendship.  She told me the other day that the Lord is moving her on to the next thing in her life and will be leaving Haiti.  I cried until the tears wouldn’t come out anymore.  Have you ever done that?  You are still crying but its now dry and the snot is even gone?  No matter how much cold water you splash on your face you still wake up with swollen eyes the next morning.  That was me.

So my answer to myself is that joy is nowhere around me.  Not in any day.  Not in any person.

Here comes the ahhhhhHA! moment that you all have already gotten to.  I’m slow.  I totally know it.

The joy is inside.  Deep deep deep inside.  It does not get blown and tossed by the wind of circumstance.  It doesn’t change moment to moment like my feelings.  It is a state of being.  Its connected to my soul.

It gives me confidence.  and peace.

WHEW!

so much learning to do in such a short life time.

the overflow of my heart.

Times by Tenth Avenue North

I know i need you
I need to love you
I love to see you, but its been so long
i long to feel you
i feel this need for you’
and i need to hear you
is that so wrong?

now you pulled me near you
when we’re close i fear you
still im afraid to tell you
all that i’ve done
are you done forgiving?
or can you look pass my pretending?
Lord i’m so tired of defending
what i’ve become
what have i become?

i hear you say “my love is over,
its underneath, its inside, its in between
the times you doubt me, when you can’t feel
the times that you’ve questioned ‘is this for real?’
the times you’ve broken, the times that you mend
the times you hate me and the times that you bend
well my love is over, its underneath
its inside, its in between,

these times you’re healing
and when your heart breaks
the times that you feel like you’ve fallen from grace
the times you’re hurting
the times that you heal
the times you go hungry and *are tempted* to steal
in times of confusion and chaos and pain
im there in your sorrow under the weight of your shame
im there through your heartache
im there in the storm
my love i will keep you by my power alone
i dont care where you’ve fallen, where you have been
i’ll never forsake you
my love never ends, it never ends

wednesday in haiti!

We finished our third day of homeschool today and I am so madly in love with my children I can’t stand it.  No doubt that I’ve learned as much as they have.  Josiah is making me stand back in awe.  He counted to 29, knows his ABC’s, all of the shapes except the rectangle to which he called a “really big square.”  HA!  Ne is such a perfectionist.  She wanted to know what color the “fruit” was on the forbidden tree that Eve ate.  I told her that she could color it red because I wasn’t sure that the Bible gave its actual color.  She demanded to know the color and couldn’t bare to color it red if it truly wasn’t red.  I love it.  I love everything about it.

It has been raining here again today off and on.  That makes several days in a row.  ITs hard on the Haitian people guys.  Its so hard on them.  If you can imagine that most of the foundation in their homes is made of dirt.  When dirt gets wet it turns to mud.  Then there are those who are living in tents that don’t withstand the rain.  Its their life.  No getting sassy when they don’t get their hair, nails, or toes done.  I was in the back this afternoon doing my bible study when the rain started.  You could hear some major commotion coming from the mountain behind the mission.  It made me consider myself and what I would do if faced with the same daily trials that they are.  I so often think my struggles are ridiculous.  Like I have any right to be upset about anything.

Life is so hard for these beautiful people.  Ask God for his mercy on them tonight, please?

I’m late for dinner.  We get pizza tonight.  I’m just hoping that the sauce is not mix for sloppy joes!  HA!